Crimson Dawn Read online

  Fleur McDonald lives on a large farm east of Esperance in Western Australia, where she and her husband Anthony produce prime lambs and cattle, run an Angus cattle and White Suffolk stud and produce a small amount of crops. They have two children, Rochelle and Hayden. Fleur snatches time for her writing in between helping on the farm, and chats about her life on the land as a writer, mum and farmer on Facebook, Twitter and her blog. Crimson Dawn is her fifth novel.

  www.fleurmcdonald.com

  Also by Fleur McDonald

  Red Dust

  Blue Skies

  Purple Roads

  Silver Clouds

  FLEUR

  MCDONALD

  Crimson Dawn

  First published in 2014

  Copyright © Fleur McDonald 2014

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher. The Australian Copyright Act 1968 (the Act) allows a maximum of one chapter or 10 per cent of this book, whichever is the greater, to be photocopied by any educational institution for its educational purposes provided that the educational institution (or body that administers it) has given a remuneration notice to Copyright Agency (Australia) under the Act.

  Arena Books, an imprint of

  Allen & Unwin

  83 Alexander Street

  Crows Nest NSW 2065

  Australia

  Phone: (61 2) 8425 0100

  Email: [email protected]

  Web: www.allenandunwin.com

  Cataloguing-in-Publication details are available

  from the National Library of Australia

  www.trove.nla.gov.au

  ISBN 978 1 74331 531 6

  eISBN 978 1 74343 739 1

  Typesetting by Post Pre-press Group, Australia

  To the girls who are ‘ordinary girls’ but,

  like Laura in this book, making waves,

  breaking new ground and bridging the divide—

  Amanda Salisbury, Gemma Lee-Steere and

  Catherine Marriott, to name only a few.

  Contents

  Chapter 1: 2000

  Chapter 2: 2000

  Chapter 3: 2000

  Chapter 4: 1937

  Chapter 5: 2000

  Chapter 6: 1937

  Chapter 7: 2001

  Chapter 8: 1937

  Chapter 9: 2003

  Chapter 10: 1937

  Chapter 11: 2008

  Chapter 12: 2008

  Chapter 13: 2008

  Chapter 14: 1937

  Chapter 15: 2008

  Chapter 16: 2008

  Chapter 17: 1937

  Chapter 18: 2008

  Chapter 19: 1939

  Chapter 20: 2008

  Chapter 21: 1939

  Chapter 22: 2008

  Chapter 23: 1940

  Chapter 24: 2008

  Chapter 25: 1940

  Chapter 26: 2008

  Chapter 27: 2008

  Chapter 28: 2008

  Chapter 29: 2008

  Chapter 30: 2008

  Chapter 31: 2008

  Chapter 32: 2008

  Chapter 33: 2008

  Chapter 34: 2008

  Chapter 35: 2008

  Chapter 36: 1952

  Chapter 37: 2008

  Chapter 38: 2008

  Chapter 39: 1952

  Chapter 40: 2008

  Chapter 41: 2008

  Chapter 42: 2009

  Acknowledgements

  Chapter 1

  2000

  Laura stared at the thin white stick. Nothing.

  Flipping the toilet seat down, she sank onto it, waiting for the blue lines to appear. Waiting to see what her future held.

  Please, let there only be one, she prayed over and over.

  She stared so hard her eyes began to play tricks. First there was only one. Then, maybe, a second began to show, but the colour didn’t seem to get any stronger than a faint now-you-see-it-now-you-don’t.

  Holding her breath, Laura focused carefully for another few seconds. Then she breathed out in a whoosh. Surely that dreaded second line would have shown up by now if it was going to? She must have made a mistake. Perhaps she got her dates mixed up. Whatever it was, she was thankful she wasn’t pregnant. She’d had a fright. It was a warning to be more careful.

  Of course, she wanted children, but not yet. She still had so much to do before she settled down. She had dreams. Plans. Things she wanted, no, needed, to achieve.

  Laura placed the test on the vanity and got up. She still felt sick, but maybe the breakfast bacon had been off. Or perhaps it was the stress of the last few days. Shearing was a demanding time.

  Pulling her long blonde hair back into a ponytail, she noticed the telltale signs of a pimple at the corner of her mouth. It was a bit sore. Maybe, maybe her period was on its way.

  She bent down to grab the towel she’d left lying on the floor and, as she did, focused on the stick once again.

  Her heart stopped.

  Two blue lines.

  Clear and strong against the white background.

  No, the voice in her head screamed. No! It couldn’t be.

  There had only been one before.

  Laura felt a mixture of disbelief, horror and, despite everything, happiness. This could be life-changing.

  She looked away then back at the stick, hoping, by some miracle of miracles, something was different. But it wasn’t.

  Her heart began to thump and she felt a sweat break out all over her.

  She was pregnant.

  Outside, the wind gusted around the gum trees and rain rattled on the roof, but the icy air couldn’t penetrate the farmhouse or dampen the spirit within. Laughter and the clinking of cutlery rang out in the enclosed verandah where Laura and her family were gathered. Despite the weather, the room was pleasant and cosy, with floor-to-ceiling windows, comfy chairs around a roaring fire, and a long dining table that today was set for lunch.

  Laura loved these get-togethers, but after her recent discovery she was finding it hard to act normally. She wanted to shout from the top of the shearing shed that she was having a baby, but at the same time she didn’t want anyone to know. She didn’t want to be judged if she decided she couldn’t keep it.

  Her half-sister Nicki walked past, holding the salt and pepper shakers. She was singing to herself, and she flashed Laura a grin as she did a couple of dance moves in the middle of the room. Laura made herself smile back, recognising the song as one she’d been hearing with regular monotony on the local radio station. Nicki’s sweet voice was low and unobtrusive, and Laura noticed Papa look fondly on as his granddaughter danced. Laura decided she’d ask for a concert from the sixteen-year-old before she and the others returned to Adelaide. Her stepmother, Georgie, was quite a pianist, and the music mother and daughter created together was beautiful.

  Laura knew she had to savour the day. These gatherings didn’t happen with the frequency they should, not since her dad and Georgie had left Nambina.

  Today was even more special, though. Her Papa, Howie, had asked Laura to organise it, saying he had an important announcement to make. She didn’t know what he was going to say, and the rest of the family appeared to be as much in the dark as she was.

  Laura played with the champagne glass in her hand, feeling nervous. Her own news was big enough, let alone whatever Howie was going to drop on them.

  She’d picked up the phone to call her boyfriend, Josh, about a hundred times since yesterday. She wanted to tell him he was going to be a dad. But she kept disconnecting before he’d had a chance to answer.

  She was so mixed up. Her dream was to h
ave an impact on the agricultural industry and to farm at the same time. And she was already making a difference, she felt, as a member of several local committees. But could she do all she wanted and planned with a baby in tow?

  One moment she was sure she’d manage, and she’d imagine taking a pram into a meeting and the baby playing quietly or sleeping while she helped with something important and useful, like having trial plots on Nambina, liaising with research and development companies, offering her stock as guinea pigs for the good of production. There could be field days on Nambina, with her show-casing the results. But of course, babies didn’t always do what their parents wanted, and in the next moment she’d be positive she couldn’t do it. She’d envision the baby screaming and being unable to settle it, while her colleagues looked on with disdain or sympathy. At these times, she wondered whether it would be better for all concerned if she had a termination.

  And then there was Josh. She shook her head. In her mind she’d had the conversation with him a million times—and it never went well.

  A recent incident at the pub hadn’t helped. Laura and Josh were eating dinner with Josh’s half-sister Meghan, who happened to be Laura’s best friend. Also there that night was a family with a newborn baby. The little boy was crying and the mother, who looked exhausted, couldn’t calm him down. Meghan had gone over to help and brought the baby back to their table.

  To Laura’s surprise, the normally understanding Josh was annoyed. ‘Don’t bring that screaming bundle of noise over here,’ he’d said.

  ‘Can’t you see how tired that poor woman is?’ Meghan had answered. ‘Someone needs to give her a break, even if it’s just for five minutes.’

  ‘Shouldn’t come out in public if they can’t stop it crying,’ Josh responded, taking another slug of his beer. ‘Wrecks the whole night for everyone else.’

  Meghan had shaken her head with an exasperated smile and rolled her eyes at Laura. Her grin changed to triumph when the little boy burped long and loudly then stopped crying. His eyes fluttered, and within minutes he was asleep.

  ‘There,’ she cooed. ‘That’s better, isn’t it? You can go to sleep now.’ She took the baby back to his mother, settled him in the pram and waved away her grateful thanks.

  Laura pulled herself away from the memory. She knew Josh could react either way to her news. Maybe he would be angry, but maybe he wouldn’t. After all, he helped create the child.

  And what would Howie say? What would her family say?

  She glanced around the room. Howie, at the ripe old age of seventy-eight, leaned on his walking stick, warming his bones by the fire as he talked intently to Sean, Laura’s father. Nicki had joined them. Not far away sat her youngest sister, Poppy, headphones jammed on her ears. Laura could hear the pumping music from where she stood, many metres away. A trip to the country didn’t suit the fourteen-year-old, and she seemed determined to block it out as much as possible.

  Laura knew with certainty that her family wouldn’t judge her. So what was she worried about? The fact she wasn’t sure she wanted to keep the child? She wasn’t ready? She gritted her teeth, furious at herself. How could she be thinking along those lines when she had such a supportive family? She knew they would juggle their lives to make things work for her, just as she would for any of them.

  Turning to look out the window and down the winding drive, Laura caught sight of a dark blue ute racing towards the house. Butterflies started in her stomach.

  Josh.

  He parked next to the garage and she felt her heart beat a little faster as his familiar long frame unfolded from the cab.

  They’d been together for a couple of years now, and were as in love as the first day they got together. Josh was good-looking and clever, and they shared a passion for the land.

  But when they first fell for each other it had surprised everyone, including Laura. Josh had never been on her radar, even though he was only two years older and his sister was her best friend. They’d attended the same primary school, but he’d left for boarding school in Adelaide while she’d gone to the local high school in Mangalow, the nearest town.

  Laura had heard snippets of Josh’s life from Meghan, but at first had only taken a passing interest because they were friends.

  That all changed in 1998 during the AFL grand final. Laura had gone to the golf club with another close friend, Catherine, to watch Adelaide play North Melbourne. She’d been surprised when Josh had walked in. Last she’d heard, he was at ag college in Geelong.

  She’d caught him looking at her a couple of times. The third time she boldly met his gaze. At half-time, he bought her a drink. At full-time he asked her out to dinner, and by the end of the weekend, they were an item.

  Meghan was thrilled.

  Now Laura’s stomach flipped again as Josh walked up the path. Unsure if it was morning sickness, nervousness or excitement, she put down the glass of champagne she’d been pretending to sip and opened the door, letting a blast of wind blow in.

  ‘Hi! You made it. Shocking day.’

  Josh dropped a swift kiss on her lips, shook the water from his Driza-Bone before peeling it off like an unwanted skin. ‘Bloody awful day, but I’m liking the rain. Sorry I’m late. Had to pull a calf.’

  Laura took the jacket and hung it just inside the door, ignoring the slow drips onto the floor. ‘Okay?’ she queried.

  ‘Yeah, fine. Just a mis-presentation. Leg back.’ He lowered his voice. ‘Do you know what this shindig is about yet?’

  ‘Nope, you’re in the dark just as much as me.’

  ‘Well, I’ve brought this, in case it’s needed.’ Josh pulled the cover off the camera that was slung around his neck. ‘Smile!’ He pointed the camera at Laura and snapped.

  She poked out her tongue and crossed her eyes in a silent protest.

  ‘G’day, Josh.’ Howie limped forward and Josh quickly crossed the space between them, his hand extended.

  ‘I see you’re here to document events, as usual,’ Howie said. Josh was a keen photographer and always had his camera at the ready.

  ‘Of course! Howie, how are you?’

  ‘In top form, lad. Top form.’ Howie clapped the younger man on the shoulder, and Sean came forward to shake his hand. Georgie rushed over in a mist of perfume and kissed his cheek. Josh was always welcome.

  Nicki smiled a shy hello but Poppy studiously ignored him until Laura walked past her little sister and poked her with her toe. She gave an unwilling wave to acknowledge his arrival.

  ‘Good to see you all,’ Josh said, accepting a beer from Laura as he greeted them.

  ‘How are things on the farm, Josh?’ Sean asked.

  He filled them in, then asked Sean about his medical studies.

  ‘Three more exams, mate, and I’m done. Really looking forward to getting out there and practising.’

  Sean had tried farming. He’d tried lots of things. The couple of years after he left school he’d spent on Nambina, but he hadn’t enjoyed it and Howie had known it would only be a matter of time before his son moved on. One night, Sean was drowning his sorrows at the pub when he met a girl. Lee had been visiting in the area but would soon be travelling back to Queensland, where she lived. After an evening of laughter and companionship together, Sean took up Lee’s offer to travel with her.

  Two days later, they were on their way.

  ‘Only as friends,’ Sean had said. ‘Be good to have company.’

  Howie had nodded knowingly.

  It was only supposed to be a twelve-month travelling holiday. But a year turned into five—and parenthood.

  When Sean arrived home with a babe in arms, not once, he said later, had Howie admonished him or given him a hard time. Howie just helped care for Laura, making sure Sean found his feet.

  The only time Howie showed any anger was when Sean explained that Lee had made it clear she didn’t want the child. Couldn’t handle being a mother, she’d said.

  Sean told Laura that Howie’s disgust had been palpabl
e, and there had been times they had both wished his mother, who’d died years before, had been alive to help. ‘We just coped the best we could,’ Sean said. ‘And we wouldn’t have had it any other way.’

  Sean began working on Nambina again, and Laura grew up in and out of the sheep yards and paddocks. She’d loved every moment. Sean, however, had spent the time attempting to find the passion Howie had for the land, for the stock, for wool, and for crops. But it just wasn’t there. Instead, he found Georgie and took solace in her arms.

  Finally, six years ago, he’d plucked up the courage to leave, and leave for good.

  Howie had been unsurprised by Sean and Georgie’s move to Adelaide. But what had astonished him was his middle-aged son going back to study medicine. Sean had thrived on the adrenalin and frenetic pace of his prac time in Emergency. Having finally found his niche, he knew he had made the best decision of his life.

  It had caused much gossip around the community, but Howie had been steadfast in his support of, and belief in, his son. He understood that living on the land without loving it was no living at all.

  Laura had been in year eleven when Sean and Georgie moved. She was settled in a school bus routine—it was only fifteen minutes to the local school, which gave her plenty of study and Nambina time. With Howie as much a father figure as Sean, they all knew she wouldn’t be going anywhere! Laura was as allergic to the city as Poppy was to the country.

  ‘Well, now we’re all here,’ Howie began, ‘some of you will be wondering why. You shouldn’t be. It’s been too long since we were together.’ He frowned over his glasses at Sean, who grinned sheepishly and held his hands up in mock surrender.

  ‘So, let’s sit down and I’ll explain after we’ve had lunch. Laura, can you serve?’

  ‘I’ll help.’ Georgie and Nicki spoke in unison and followed Laura into the kitchen. Poppy didn’t move.

  Grabbing the oven mitts, Laura opened the oven door and pulled out plates she’d dished up earlier. Steam rose from the roast lamb and vegetables.

  ‘That’s Papa’s, Dad’s and Josh’s,’ she directed, before picking up a couple herself.

  As the family ate, the conversation was upbeat and the laughter loud, but Laura could feel an expectation hanging over the table. What would Howie be announcing? As she swallowed her last mouthful, she felt Josh’s hand on her leg. It slid towards her thigh.