If you were here Read online

  First published in 2017

  Copyright © Fleur McDonald 2017

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher. The Australian Copyright Act 1968 (the Act) allows a maximum of one chapter or 10 per cent of this book, whichever is the greater, to be photocopied by any educational institution for its educational purposes provided that the educational institution (or body that administers it) has given a remuneration notice to the Copyright Agency (Australia) under the Act.

  Allen & Unwin

  83 Alexander Street

  Crows Nest NSW 2065

  Australia

  Phone: (61 2) 8425 0100

  Email: [email protected]

  Web: www.allenandunwin.com

  Cataloguing-in-Publication details are available from the National Library of Australia

  www.trove.nla.gov.au

  eISBN 9781760633837

  Typeset by Bookhouse, Sydney

  Cover design by Julia Eim

  CONTENTS

  IF YOU WERE HERE - SHORT STORY

  SUDDENLY ONE SUMMER - CHAPTER SAMPLER FROM FLEUR’S FORTHCOMING NOVEL

  PROLOGUE

  CHAPTER 1

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  ‘What’s that noise?’ Josie sat up in bed and shook Russell, who was gently snoring beside her. Her stomach coiled in fear. She’d never heard anything like it before. ‘Russell!’ her tone was more urgent this time.

  ‘Huh? What?’ he said sleepily.

  ‘Can’t you hear it?’ She held up a finger to quieten him, then realised he couldn’t see her. ‘Shh, listen.’

  Russell sat up too. ‘I can’t…’

  ‘Shh!’ This time her voice was more urgent and she grabbed at his hand, squeezing it.

  There it was.

  A low howl. But not a fox. A fox bark was short and sharp.

  ‘Shit, is that a wild dog?’ Russell asked as he sat up quickly. ‘It’s been an age since we’ve had one down here.’

  There it was again. Long and low. Like a wolf.

  ‘I don’t know.’ The hair stood up on the back of Josie’s neck. She wanted to tuck herself up tight under the covers and not hear it again, but she couldn’t do that. She didn’t like to show weakness of any description.

  Throwing back the covers, she got up and went to the window, pulling the curtains back. Nothing but stars and the dark shapes of trees, and then their farm stretched out beyond. The trees were still tonight, which is why she’d heard the cry. Noises travelled long distances on clear, crisp nights.

  She felt Russell stand beside her.

  ‘God, that’s a horrible noise,’ he said in a quiet voice as he put his arm around her. ‘I’ll get my gun and go for a look. Will you be okay here?’ He fumbled for the torch alongside his bed and switched it on.

  ‘’Course.’ Josie followed him as he unlocked the cabinet and pulled out his shotgun, but she continued down the hallway to the kitchen.

  ‘Russell!’ The fear laced her voice. ‘Russell, come and look at this!’ From the kitchen window, in the distance she could see a glow of what could have been a campfire light. It was on their land. In the swamp. Their secret yabby spot.

  Russell got out of his ute, quietly closed the door, and held the gun to his shoulder, wondering if showing himself was the smartest move. He could now see a group of people around a campfire. Yet as frightening as they sounded, the gathering seemed peaceful enough. They looked like a bunch of hippies.

  In the dim light, Russell counted eight different types of vehicles: kombi-vans, rusted-out old utes and there was even a small troop carrier. He wasn’t sure how many people were camped on the side of his swamp—maybe twenty or thirty. All adults. Well, he couldn’t be sure. At 2 a.m. in the morning, you’d hope that the kids were all tucked up asleep, like his Brianna was.

  When he’d arrived, they had been dancing around the campfire; the low moaning he’d heard from the house was, in fact, a chant. Holding hands, they’d rushed towards the fire, stopping only millimetres from the edge, then thrown their arms in the air and started to stamp away from it. As they came towards the fire, they howled; as they went back from it, they chanted: ‘Peace and love, peace and love, peace and love…’

  The dance, if it could be called that, reminded him of an Aboriginal corroboree, but these people weren’t wearing dress paint or scant clothing. Russell sniffed the air—he could smell something sweet, like… Was it marijuana? Shit, that meant they were stoned. And unpredictable. Should he confront them? He was torn with indecision.

  Of course! They were camped on his land. They hadn’t any right to be here. And this track to the swamp was so well hidden, nobody knew about it, so how did they know it was here? Maybe he should wait until morning.

  ‘Peace and love, peace and love…’ the chanting continued.

  Russell thought about Josie and Brianna in the house by themselves and how vulnerable they were. No. These people needed to go now. Hell, he wanted them to go.

  With a deep breath, Russell came into the light of the fire and, without actually levelling the gun, he ensured it would be obvious as he addressed the closest member of the clan. ‘What are you doing on my land?’ Russell felt like he was about to explode—from fear or anger he wasn’t sure. Staring at the unwashed man with dreadlocks, he pointed to the road. ‘Get off my place now, or I’ll call the cops.’

  The group quickly broke up and most of the members seemed to melt into the darkness. Russell curbed the urge to look over his shoulder and make sure his ute was still where he left it. He cursed himself for his spontaneous reaction. There were only three people left and they were all men—well-built looking men.

  The one who seemed to be in charge, took a step towards him. ‘Dude,’ the word was drawn out and soft and Russell guessed his original assumption they were stoned was correct. ‘Dude, we’re only camping up here for a few days. Won’t make no trouble. Didn’t know it was your place. Didn’t know it was anyone’s.’ He gave a shrug as if that explained everything. ‘Thought it was just empty land, you know?’

  ‘Well, it is mine and I want you to leave.’

  ‘We won’t leave,’ one of the others said, and he took a step towards Russell. His tone was tight with anger.

  ‘Stop!’ The leader commanded, sharp and angry. He held his hand up to the man who had just spoken and turned to Russell: ‘We don’t want any trouble. We were just looking for a place to stay for a few days.’

  ‘Mate, I don’t give a shit what you want but, if you’re still on my land tomorrow morning when I check, I’ll be calling the cops.’ He sounded braver than he felt. Quickly, he turned, walked back to his ute and climbed in.

  As he drove away from the clearing, he looked in the rear-view mirror and saw the leader staring after him.

  ‘Shit,’ he muttered and pressed the accelerator down.

  ‘Do we phone the police?’ Josie asked Russell as he told her what he’d seen, after getting back into bed.

  ‘If they’re not gone by tonight, I’ll call them. Just make sure you lock the doors at all times, even when you’re in the house. I wouldn’t put it past them coming up here. God knows what they were doing, but they might be looking for something to steal, or a few lambs to fill their bellies with. Bloody strange, anyway.’ He shivered, thinking about the weird chanting. He wrapped his arm around Josie and pulled her to him. ‘I locked all the doors when I came back in. Is Brianna still asleep, even with all the nocturnal happenings?’

  Josie sighed into his chest. ‘It’s the first night I can remember that she’s actual
ly slept through. And now, of course, I haven’t slept and probably still won’t! God, that whole thing is just so strange. And scary.’

  He pulled her tighter and wished he could make their daughter sleep better, so Josie could too. Kissing her forehead, he said, ‘Go to sleep now, my love. Everything will be fine.’

  Josie picked up Brianna, her three-year-old daughter, and threw her up into the air, enjoying her giggle. It was a beautiful sound after the fear she’d felt last night. She glanced over her shoulder to look out through the kitchen window. There wasn’t any sign of campfire smoke, so she hoped the hippies had heeded Russell’s warning, and left first thing this morning.

  Russell had already gone to work, so she wouldn’t know if they had until he saw her at the yards.

  ‘We need to go and find Daddy,’ she said, as she tucked the little girl into her hip and hoisted a bag packed full of food and drinks onto her shoulder.

  ‘Why?’ Brianna asked, squirming.

  Josie inhaled a sharp breath and let it out again in an exasperated way. If she heard the word ‘why’ ever again, it would be too soon. Ever since Brianna had learned how to say it, she’d used it constantly. She looked at her daughter, who was wriggling to be put down, so she swung her to the ground and held her hand as they walked down the path and out to the ute. ‘So we can help him mark the baby lambies,’ she answered, mentally running through everything she had in the back of the ute: ear markers, taggers, disinfectant. Yep, they were all there. Russell had picked up the ear tags, vaccine and rings from town yesterday. She was sure they were organised.

  ‘Mummy?’

  Josie looked down. ‘Sorry, honey, I was thinking. Making sure I’ve got everything we need for today. What did you say?’

  ‘Why does he need our help?’ Serious blue eyes stared up at her.

  ‘You’ll see when we get there. There are lots of lambs and every one of them needs to get lifted into the cradle, and have injections—’ she opened the door, looked down and, seeing Brianna was about to ask another question, she rushed on—‘so they are kept healthy. It’s a bit like your needles. Remember when I took you into the nurses and they gave you a prick in your arm?’

  Brianna pouted. ‘It hurt,’ she said with a frown.

  ‘Yep, but it’s very important you have them so you stay well. It’s the same with the lambs. Now jump up into your seat,’ she instructed and waited until Brianna was settled, before strapping her in.

  Checking the contents of the ute, one last time, she realised she only had one spare pair of knickers in the nappy bag. ‘Hang on there, Bri. I want to grab another pair of your underpants in case you have an accident, okay?’

  ‘I won’t,’ Brianna answered. ‘I don’t like wet knickers.’ Josie let out a laugh and dropped a kiss on her head. ‘Wonderful! I’m glad you think that, but it’s best to be prepared.’

  With a puzzled look on her face, Brianna asked why again.

  Russell was feeling happier this morning after he’d called into the swamp to see if the travellers were still camped there and discovered there was nothing left but a pile of ash and tyre tracks. His warning-off job must have worked a treat. Anyway, they had gone, so he put the incident to the back of his mind. He had work to do today.

  Peppy, his border collie pup, barked at the front of the ute and looked at him expectantly.

  ‘Go back,’ Russell called.

  With his tongue handing out, and a large smile on his face, Peppy put his head down and sprinted across the paddock. Russell let out a laugh as the dog ran through a puddle and almost ended up somersaulting to the other side. The lambs, which had been grazing alongside their mothers, looked up in fright, before letting out a loud baa and bolting towards the fence.

  ‘Beautiful,’ Russell muttered to himself, sarcastically. ‘Not quite the way I wanted to start the mustering effort.’ Shoving the ute into gear, he raced across the soggy ground to head off the lambs. He didn’t want them to start ringing—if they did, he’d have a hell of a time getting them into the yards. He really needed Josie here to give him a hand, but Brianna hadn’t been sleeping well and he could see how tired his wife was. He would have to manage until she got here.

  Brianna had colic badly and Josie would spend hours rocking her, trying to get her to sleep. And her naps—well she didn’t ever want those, she needed to be involved in everything that was going on! That child could live on three hours a night!

  Of course, last night wouldn’t have helped her sleeping. And once she’d fallen back to sleep, Josie had been so tired, she hadn’t heard him climb out of bed this morning. He’d wanted to let her sleep, so he’d dealt quietly with Brianna, getting her breakfast and hushing her, before putting her back into the cot to play, until Josie got up.

  As he thought of Josie and Brianna, a smile crossed his face. He was a lucky man—a gorgeous wife and cute baby, but these past couple of years had been hard on Josie.

  Russell had taken his fair share of the nightly hours, but it really was Josie who was having to manage a toddler and still work on the farm. Her coming to mark lambs today was a big ask. He had suggested he get someone in to help, but Josie loved this work and had been adamant she was coming to help and he always found it hard to say no to her.

  Hearing Peppy bark, he focused on the sheep again and wound down the window. Leaning his elbow on the edge he yelled, ‘Way forward!’ Gently, with Peppy’s help, he mobbed the sheep together and started to move them towards the yards. The lambs looked at him curiously, then bleated for their mothers while the ewes ran around, sniffing at each lamb they came across, before running away if it wasn’t theirs. The cacophony of noise rose and echoed around the scrub.

  Finally, Russell managed to contain them all in the yards. ‘Good girl, Peppy,’ he said, patting the collie’s ears. She jumped up and put her muddy paws on his jumper, smiling at him. Then, with her ears back, she swung around towards a noise and barked.

  Another ute was pulling up and he could see Josie smiling at him through the window.

  ‘Hello there, gorgeous,’ he said, pulling his beanie down over his ears. He leaned through the opening and kissed Josie tenderly. ‘How are you feeling? Did you get a little bit of a sleep-in?’

  ‘Daddy!’ squealed Brianna and clapped her hands with glee.

  ‘Not too much of one,’ Josie answered with a fond glance over her shoulder at Brianna. ‘This little terror was too keen to get in the car and come and see you.’ She put her hand on his and looked up at him.

  Russell felt his breath catch and held her gaze a little longer.

  ‘Are the hippies gone?’ she asked, finally breaking eye contact.

  He nodded. ‘Not a sign of them. They’ve vanished—it was as if they were never here.’

  ‘God, that’s so weird.’ Josie wrinkled her brow, ignoring Brianna who was thumping her legs against the back of the chair, wanting to get out.

  ‘Mummy,’ she said. ‘Mummy?’

  ‘I know. I have no idea why they were there and the only reason we would have known is because of the noise they were making.’

  ‘Mummy!’

  ‘Yes, Bri, please just wait a moment.’ Josie put her hand out for her daughter to grab hold of. ‘I hope they don’t come back to get us.’

  Russell laughed. ‘You and your overactive imagination, my love. I don’t think we’ll see them again. Don’t forget, I was holding a gun when I told them to nick off. They wouldn’t want to risk it, I’m sure. And, I reckon with the hooch I could smell, they wouldn’t want the cops involved either.’

  ‘But still…’ Josie stopped as Brianna interrupted her again.

  ‘Mummy!’

  ‘Don’t fret, my love. Obviously, they were just passing through.’ He gave her a kiss and turned his attention to Brianna, who’d given up on Josie ever getting her out of the car seat.

  ‘Daddy, I need to get out of here. Are you going to make the lambs healthy?’ she wanted to know.

  Russell gave Josie anothe
r swift kiss and opened the back door, unclipping his daughter. ‘Well, my cute-as-a-button little one, we are going to give the lambs earrings and keep them healthy by giving them some special medicine and getting rid of their tails. Are you going to help? Where’re your rubber boots?’

  ‘Here.’ A chubby finger pointed to pink boots on the floor of the car.

  ‘Did you pull these off while Mummy was driving?’

  ‘Uh-huh. My feet got hot.’

  ‘Sweetheart, I can promise you that you will not be hot out here. The wind is very cold.’ He helped her on with her boots and jacket, before pulling her pink beanie down firmly on her head and helping her out of the car.

  ‘Do you want a coffee before we start drafting?’ Josie asked, waving the thermos around.

  ‘I don’t think so. Better off we get cracking so you can get home again.’ He took Brianna’s hand and led her towards the yards, Josie walking along side of him.

  ‘I need to check the lambing ewes in South Five after we’ve finished here,’ Josie said. ‘It’s been a week and a half since I’ve been there. Remember how I picked up four cast ones last time?’

  Brianna pulled away from Russell and ran ahead, jumping in the puddles as she went.

  ‘Those girls are too fat,’ Russell commented. ‘They always have trouble when there’s a heap of feed. Who would’ve thought the season would be this good after last year?’

  ‘I know. I can still see the dust blowing. And all the bubby lambs being born on the straight dirt. It was awful,’ Josie agreed. ‘Hey there, missy, don’t get wet yet… Oh, too late.’

  They both laughed at Brianna whose pants were wet up to her knees and she had mud on her face.

  ‘I’m a mud monster,’ growled Brianna and clawed her hands at her parents.

  Russell clutched at Josie. ‘Oh no! A mud monster, I’m scared!’

  ‘No, please don’t eat us!’ screamed Josie as she scrambled to get behind Russell for protection.

  He slipped his hands around her waist and pulled her to his front and held her against him, rubbing his crutch gently against her.